Star Cats Express
by amethyst-labyrinth
Summary: What happens when Jennyanydotes finds a musical Skimbleshanks wrote called Starlight Express and has the tribe perform for him as a surprise? Drama, unrequited love, jealousy, confusion, bad acting, bad singing, cats in roller skates!


**Disclaimer** **I don't own the musicals Cats or Starlight Express**

The two tomcats walked side by side down the countryside lane, which lead to the local village vicarage.

"Are you, quit sure we're going the right way, Rum Tum Tugger?" The first cat asked his companion stopping to rest for a moment and clean his front paw pad.

Rum Tum Tugger sat down too and faced him.

"My dear, Mr. Mistoffelees," He said archly in an over exaggerated tone of great offence. "While I have taken up residence to live with you in a new human home, that doesn't mean I've forgotten the way to my old human home from my kitten hood days, especially since my father still lives there and I visit him regularly!"

"We've been walking an awfully long time," Mistoffelees said shooting him dubious look. "And there's so many humans out and about and the bullocks and sheep are making so much noise and did you see the size of those dogs earlier? I don't like this."

"That's because Old Deuteronomy lives an hour away from us and it's market day, it's going to take us time to get there unless you want to use your powers to get us there quicker?" Tugger suggested.

Mistoffelees scowled at him. "Are you making fun of me?" He asked flatly.

Tugger was actually taken about by this. "Mistoffelees, you know I have the utmost respect for you and your powers!" He said sincerely and any other cat would have been flattered since Tugger only respected the tribe's leader Old Deuteronomy, but Mistoffelees didn't look at all convinced.

"If I've never been somewhere before, I can't conjure myself or anyone else there. I told you that before." The conjuring cat grumbled.

"Well I'm sorry, I forgot, but regardless I still think you're wonderful and clever magic or not " Tugger said in hopes to pacify him. "Now come on let's get going again," He added giving him an affectionate head-butt. But instead the smaller cat stayed put.

"Don't you think it's strange the Jennyanydots ask us to meet her at the vicarage?" Mistoffelees asked.

"Yes, but I'm also curious as to why, aren't you?"

"No!" Misto said suddenly prickling and arching his back. "I want to go home! And I want to go home now!

Tugger quickly pounced on the smaller cat to prevent him from leaving.

"Misto, Misto, Misto," Tugger smoothed. "What is the matter?"

"I have a feeling, bad feeling!"

"What kind of bad feeling?"

"The kind that feels like impending doom!"

"How to you know what impending doom feels like?" Tugger asked matter o-factly slowly getting off the other cat.

"Because I've felt this feeling before and doom has befallen me afterwards!"

"Really?" Tugger asked with wide eyes. "When did that happen? What happened?"

"The day you followed me home!"

"Misto!" Tugger yelled bopping him on the head with his paw.

"You never left, and my precious one."

"Must you always call our human girl that?"

"Took you in and all you do is cause horrible muddles all over the house! My pillow! Why my pillow?" Mistoffelees finished yowling.

"Just wanted you to think of me when you went to sleep."

"Oh, well maybe I should start sleeping in the litter box then?"

If Tugger had not in housecat forum he would have rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop being so melodramatic," He said nudging Mistoffelees up. "Come on let's just go the vicarage and see what the old Gumbie Cat wants. Maybe she found an orphan kitten and wants us to take it in and raise it as our own. We'll be daddies and name it Tuggoffelees," Tugger said happily.

"What?" Mistoffelees said looking at him like he had grown two heads.

"What?" Tugger replied.

"Never mind," Mistoffelees grumbled. "But mark my words, Rum Tum Tugger! Doom will befall us!" He said sitting on his haunches waving his front paws up and down in a mystical fashion.

 _'He's so cool!_ Tugger thought watching him.

They continued walking and Tugger would point out various spots of interest. Presently they came upon a much larger cat walking a head of them. From what they could see most of the cat was black, but the tip tail was white as where the back paws. Tugger tensed and crouched low his ears flat, not sure if this cat was a threat or not.

"Uncle Bustopher!" Mistoffelees meowed happily running towards the large cat.

"Quaxo, my boy!" Bustopher Jones greeted him calling him by his second name. Then to Tugger's utter shock the two cats began to playfully wrestle on the road.

 _'Disgraceful!_ Tugger thought annoyed that he didn't have Misto's full-undivided attention anymore. _Well. you'll never see me doing that._ He said to himself before walking away with his tail perpendicular. He had only gone a few feet when he saw another cat this time laying flat and still in the middle of the road. It was Old Deuteronomy and he looked dead!

"Daddy!" Tugger cried running over to him as fast as his tufted paws could carry him.

Old Deuteronomy's ear twitched before lifting up his head and yawning.

"Ah, Rum Tum Tugger, my son! What pleasant surprise!" The elderly cat said sitting up.

"Father, you're alive!" Tugger said happily before pouncing on him.

Old Deuteronomy laughed softly.

"Now, now Rum Tum Tugger, you know I like to rest on the road on market day and the sun was so warm that it lulled me to sleep."

But Tugger overjoyed that his father was not dead just continued to pounce and playfully bite him and soon Old Deuteronomy responded in kind, eventually Mistoffelees and Bustopher Jones finished playing and went in search of Tugger finding him happily wresting with Old Deuteronomy.

"Well, well if this isn't a day for surprises and brings you two here?" Old Grey cat asked.

"Jennyanydot," Nephew and Uncle replied.

"Yeah," Tugger added. "She asked Misto and yours truly to meet her at the vicarage."

"Hmm, asked me as well to meet her there," Bustopher Jones told him.

"Yes I do seem to recall Jennyanydots asking me to meet her today," Old Deuteronomy said scratching his chin with his back paw.

"Why would she want to meet with all four of us?" Tugger question. "Say you don't think she wants to mate with us do you?"

"No son I don't think so," His father answered.

"Best be off to find what she wants," Bustopher Jones interjected.

They found the Old Gumbie cat a sleep in the vicarage back garden. With her was a large bundle of parchment paper.

"Oh wonderful you're here," She cried when she had woken up. "Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here. It's about dear Skimbleshanks, I'm sure you've all must have noticed how depressed he's been lately?"

"No," Said Tugger.

"Not really," Added Mistoffelees.

"He hasn't said anything to me," Supplied Bustopher Jones.

"He seemed fine when we spoke recently," Old Deuteronomy told her.

"Well he is!" Jennyanydots argued. "And I know why!"

"Unrequited love for me?" Tugger winked.

"Wh-what?" The Gumbie cat sputtered. "No!"

"Ignore him," Mistoffelees begged. "He thinks everyone is in love with him."

"That's not true," Tugger grumble. "I know my father isn't love with me."

"Skimbles is depressed because he believes no one appreciates him."

"And he has told you this?" The Jellicle Leader asked concerned.

"Well no," The Calico cat admitted. "But I can tell."

"Then why don't we sing a song for him at the ball," Tugger suggested.

"That's a great idea Rum Tum!" Mistoffelees agreed.

"Really?" Tugger responded delighted that Misto agreed with him.

"Excellent suggestion, my son!"

"I concur!" Chimed in Bustopher Jones.

"That's a terrible idea!" Jennyanydots yowled. Causing the four tomcats to arch their backs and puff up their tails in fear. "He'll think we want to get rid of him!" She declared.

"You mean like we want to do to you?" Tugger mumbled under his breath.

"The way to cheer Skimbles up and show him that he is loved and appreciated is to preform his play for him in surprise."

"What play?" Bustopher Jones demanded. "Skimbles never said anything to me about writing a play."

"Why are we here?" Misto whined.

"I'll get to that in time," Jenny said. "Now Skimbles's play is called Starlight Express. It's about a little human boy who dreams his toy trains come to life and compete in a race. I found it when I was cleaning out Skimbles's den for him. Here let me read it to you. It's also a musical."

"Is this going to take long?" Tugger asked.

"Yes, is it? Because I have a lunch appointment at, eh," Bustopher Jones paused as he patted his chest with his paw. "I don't have timepiece," He finished forlornly.

Undaunted Jennyanydots began to read and sing the play aloud. Now Jennyanydots is a wonderful singer, her voice is strong and cheerful and she can really hit those high notes and normally under any other circumstances her singing would be fine, but because Skimbles didn't make any notes of tempo or beat of the songs she had nothing to go except her own judgment and whether it was pride or laziness she sung all the song to the tune and cheerful beat of her song The Gumbie Cat Song and that made her singing awkward and jerky as clearly none of the songs were meant to be sung of to the tune of the Gumbie Cat. And the songs themselves they were not bad they were clever and catchy and if they had been sung in the right beat and tempo many of them would have been beautiful and the other songs let me just say there was something off putting about hearing Jennyanydots sing ' **You've got no lovers if you've got no wheels**.' **Come and bite my burgers/ I'm hot cheep and quick.'** ' **Just cause I smile all the time don't mean I'm not into crime.'**

"Well what do you think?" The Gumbie cat asked when she finished reading the play. The four tomcats sit in stunned silence trying to process what they just heard.

"I think I've just been traumatized," Mistoffelees ventured. When Jenny had told them the plot of the play the Conjuring cat had assumed it would be like Rev. W. Awdry's Railway Series books, that his Father, Cat Morgan had read to him when he was kitten. He had excepted the trains in the play to be mischiefs and they were, but thy went beyond that they were murderers, promiscuous, and kind of whiney. He'd never be able to read or watch Thomas the Tank Engine the same way again.

"I think I ether I want Jennyanydots or Skimbleshanks as my partner for the mating dance this year," Tugger joked fully excepting Mistoffelees to bop him on the head with his paw and fully disappointed when nothing happened.

"The Starlight Express is The Everlasting Cat?" Old Deuteronomy questioned trying to understand the religious aspects of the musical.

"I have never heard such rubbish in all my life!" Bustopher Jones yowled. "And includes the time my sister's mate told me he ounce ate a live kraken from the inside out!"

"All of Papa's stories are true!" Mistoffelees shouted in defense of his father.

"Madam I demand to know why you have summoned us here and force us to listen to this utter nonsense! Trains having genders and feelings!"

"Well," Jeenyanydots said with her nose in the air "I can see that it's quite clear that you obviously don't appreciate Skimbleshanks' genius!"

"The only thing that's quite clear is that Skimbleshanks has obviously mixing catnip with his tea and scotch!" Bustopher Jones hissed back.

"That is enough from the both you!" Old Deuteronomy scolded the two adult cats. " Now Jennyanydots, please explain what you have in mind."

"Old Deuteronomy," She began respectfully. "As our tribe's leader I need your permission to preform play and also I want you to be in it."

"Me?" The old cat said astonished. "But I've never acted in all my years."

"But you would be perfect for the role of Poppa the old Steam Engine," She told him.

"Well I don't know…"

"Bustopher Jones," She said in a kinder tone. "You are Skimbleshanks's best friend."

"I see no reason to hold that against me," The Twenty-five ponder said disgruntled.

Undaunted she continued, "Bustopher, please I need you act in this! You're the only one who can play Dustin the Big Hooper!"

"What me, play a Choo Choo Train!"

"No Uncle, a Hooper is a freight car," Misto informed him.

"A common freight car! A cat of my standing?" The large tuxedo meowed outraged.

"But Dustin is a very important character," Jenny told him hoping to sooth his ire.

He just growled in response.

"Rum Tum Tugger, you are the most popular in the tribe," She said through gritted teeth.

"Naturally," Tugger said with pride.

"If you act the play the others will want to be in it too."

"And Quaxo."

"Mistoffelees." He corrected. "I'm going by name the family gave me. It's really Mr. Mistoffelees, but I feel asking everyone to call me Mr. Mistoffelees is a bit much."

"I don't mind calling you Mr. Mistoffelees," Tugger interjected.

"Thank you," Misto told him giving him a head-butt.

"Mistoffelees, your Bustopher Jones's nephew I can't snob you it would offend him."

"What?" The magical cat asked dismayed.

"Well, there's really nothing else about you," She said rather oblivious to fact that she had just hurt Mistoffelees feelings.

"Jennyanydots!" Old Deuteronomy reprimanded her. "You may be a full grown queen with grown daughters, but that dose not give you the right to putting other cats down because you are unable to see their true worth!"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I just don't know what to do with him," Jennyanydots said exasperatedly. "He so shy and not very popular, his singing is so-so though, but nothing special," She finished her criticism thoughtfully.

"You, do realizes that criticizing my nephew which is obviously do to your petty jealousy over the fact that he is the best dancer in the whole tribe meaning he is a better dancer then you especially in tap dancing, that you are offending me," Bustopher Jones told her flatly.

"Oh!" Jennyanydots said completely flustered her tail switching side to side.

"Speaking of snubbing cats," Deuteronomy began hoping to stop the ensuing fight between the Gumbie cat and Cat About Town. "I'm am surprised you did not include Munkustrap in this."

"Well," Jennyanydots answered nervously. "You know I love Munkustrap as if he was own and he has many wonderful qualities, really Mistoffelees you should try to be more like him."

"Ew!" Tugger spat disgusted by the idea.

"But, you see," She continued uncertainly. "Munkustrap he means well I'm sure, but he…"

"Micro manages anything he can sink his claws in,"Tugger finished for her.

"Yes!" Jennyanydots said. "And I have everything all planed out, and knowing Munkustrap he'd want to change things and omit numbers and characters and decide who should play whom, that's why I didn't include him.

"I understand," The old cat assured her.

"So Old Deuteronomy, may we preform the play and will you be in it?" The Gumbie cat asked him.

"Wait!" Mistoffelees implored before the old cat could answer. "Old Deuteronomy, if you give permission to preform this play doom will befall the entire tribe!" The magic cat finished frantically waving his paws up and down in the same mystical fashion he had done earlier.

"I thank you, for your warning," Old Deuteronomy said clearly not believing him, but having the decently not to at least laugh. "But I see no harm in preforming Skimbleshanks play."

"Besides," Jenny chimed in. "Tantomile and Coricopat would be here if there was any real doom to be prophesized. Dose this mean we can do the play?"

"Yes I think it shall be fun."

At that moment somewhere in the nearby village two identical cats woke up from their nap in the sun with a hiss each as a feeling of impending doom crept over them.


End file.
